:(

:')

halos ayaw na naming matapos yung day. kaso cmpre kelangan. :(

ambigat nung pakiramdam ko nung araw na yon, tina-try kong sobra na maging masaya, lahat ginagawa ko na para ma-cover up yung sadness at para di ma-spoil yung moment, last moment together.

kaso nung kami na lng,.. di ko talaga napigilan. he was trying to kiss me pero ayoko. he wants to hug me pero sobra ko syang iniiwasan. i wanted to, kaso it'll just make me cry and ayokong makita niya yon. 'cause alam kong doble ang epekto nun skanya. in other words, pinipilit kong maging STRONG sa paningin niya.

... pero yun nga he kissed me, and i kissed back na din. yun lang yung kiss ever na nagawa kong ma-feel na sobrang sad pero pinipilit mong maging meaningful pa din., i mean ibang feeling talaga.. sobrang magkahalong sadness and ambigat-bigat-bigat-bigat-bigat-bigat. ..while we were kissing, i closed my eyes and tried to feel it nang sobra. yun lang yung time na nagkiss kami na nag-close ako nang eyes and hindi ko nafeel yung 'awkward feeling' ('cause sanay akong half-open ang eyes while nagki-kiss) ...and at the same time, the reason why i'm closing my eyes is for him not to see the tears forming sa gilid nang eyes ko. then right after we kissed, nung naghiwalay yung face namin, bumagsak yung luha ko. tapos tuloy-tuloy na...and i covered my face. tapos sabi niya.. 'kornihun' and he's trying to give a fake laugh. but i saw him wiped his eyes. i knew na napaiyak din sya, but he tried to hide it. tapos he said, "tama na bha, dae na magpara-ibi" but i can't help it, and instead i hugged him soooooo tight while crying....he's trying to hush the tone in my voice while crying 'cause mari2nig nung family members niya...hagolgol na tlaga yung iyak ko.pero wala akong pake, basta iiyak ako. ..kahit na nung nag-hug kami, naka-face ako sa other direction, napancn kong he was wiping his tears din .. :'((((( ...

until now di kami mapigil sa pag-cry. lalo na`ko. lagi na lng... :((( ngayon ko lng 'toh sinulat dito.i've been trying to hide this for some time now, but i just can't help na ilagay to. dito ko na lng kasi mabu2hos `tong lahat. wala namang ibang naka2alam sa pinag-dadaanan ko. kahit na si nikki ayokong ipalam na muna, 'cause my sarili rin syang prob. cgro kung kelan na lng my time saka ko sa2bihin, pero wag na muna ngayon. :( kaya ko `toh. kaya namin toh.. EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE ALRIGHT. :')

........ang hirap-hirap :((( daig pang break-up.. it's sooooooo haaaaaaaaaarrrd!! :'((((

maghi2ntay ako. promise magpa2ka-strong ako. di nako iiyak... sana. :')