2nd-major break-up:'(

things have been soo bad lately,plus born and i broke up just yesterday. i know if you're gonna compare the break-up to other couples,you might say that it's so mababaw.but what can we do. 'cause in the last few months,the word 'break-up' become so common na to us,'cause we've been saying this everytime we'll have a fight. and not just that,we actually do it and then we'll be together again after a sweet talk. so you see,yesterday was the most frightening,heart-pounding,mind-sucking day of my life..well the 2nd actually. 'cause we already had our first major break-up when i was soo pissed na,and couldn't take it anymore.and now the worst break-up happened again. i don't want this to happen..really!but i'm also thinking that it's for the best and for his own good also.maybe not for me but i know i'll pass through this.i hope. i wanted him soo much as i wanted the almost 4-years relationship we had. but i can't force someone to stay and continue to live not thinking about the past. i already tried to patch things up,but he doesn't want another chance for our relationship,i guess. soo i'm trying to just deal with it,though it's hard for me. i still haven't cried since yesterday, cause i'm reserving it for a full blown out cry. i can't cry it out 'cause my sister's always has her eyes on me. and since she'll be away in two weeks time,for sure i'll be able to cry my heart out.

when our first major break-up happened,it was he who made all the effort just for me to get back to him.but i made him wait and cry for almost 1 month........and now...i'm the one whose like begging and being a martyr just for us not to break-up....but he's been so different now...his like someone i've never met before....there's no 3rd party involve,but i guess people really change time after time.even me...but i ain't so desperate to make it up to him.i am once a heck of a player,and he made me change.so maybe now that we're through...well i don't know....but for sure it's gonna be bad.

the relationship has lost it's #1TRUST,#2RESPECT,communication for sometime.....and love maybe,but i know it will always be present.


i just hope that he'll be with me again.